I have been reviewing some of my written material lately; & looking back over my work the last few years...
It looks all over the place.
Frankly? It couldn't be more transparent.
It appears to be the thoughts of a person who wants to give up on human beings...but cannot. No wonder my writing looks like that of a person with a mood disorder.
Even though for the sake of our sanity, health and well being, we probably should- even though every fibre of our being screams at us to leave the wretched humans to their own devices to die in screaming pots of shit- many of us cannot do it.
I cannot do it.
I can NEVER do it....
So my work seems to move from one pole to the other, clearly motivated by episodes of disappointment, & moments of hope.
I'm also working on finishing my book at the moment...& looking back over that material...it's the same thing.
It looks like I have some sort of mental disorder;
but really...the only disorder I have is that I want to disconnect myself from humanity and the despicable things done by them, and live in the wild...
But I simply cannot give up.
As foolish as it might seem- I really cannot break the connection I have with my species- however tenuous.
For I will then be breaking away from myself.
We are connected; and although it drives me batty, all most humans are doing is denying this connection we have.
And in that ignorance- they do cruel, selfish and inhumane things.
To drift away from EVERYONE will not help.
It won't help me, nor anyone else.
& the only way I can process this conflict is by writing it.
So I will probably continue until I die...writing like I have some kind of mental disorder.
& if refusing to give up is the name of that disorder?
Then colour me pathological.
Good points. In the quest for individuality and the age of information, we have voluntarily dehumanized. It takes a disaster to get us all to recognize each other again. It works after wars, for a time. It worked for peace, at a time. What else can we do?
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure. & I'm really racking my brains. I guess all I can do is persist with my own humanity (a full time job in itself, and one I fail at more often than not) & hope we experience a global paradigm shift. (I also believe in Santy Clause...)
ReplyDeleteI love this. How true it is. It seems that people are so disconnected from each other and that in that disconnection feel a legitimacy in their actions of hate, intolerance, cruelty and selfishness. It baffles me that in the age of technology where we can be instantly "connected" to one another, true emotional connection seldom happens. But never fear there are others like you. Maybe we should start a support group for our empathetic condition. <3
ReplyDeleteThat would be my dream come true.
ReplyDelete