Try Me a River.

It is probably worth nothing...

I feel I should point out, after some comments on yesterdays blog...

in case you hadn't worked it out for yourself...

My writing is OPINION ONLY.


Nothing more.


Just because someone puffs out their chest and speaks in an assured, semi-authoritarian manner...

Does not make their truth any but their OWN.

This is my truth.

If you connect with it...that is wonderful.


But I am only ever trying to make sense of the world and the way I fit into it...

Or not fit in...

Just like everyone else...since birth.


I am seldom if ever deliberately trying to dish out any universal truths.

It was NEVER intended to be some kind of New Age babble.

IMHO...the New Age is a new name for the Old Age.

Nothing new- it's the same stuff.


Neither is is meant to be amateur psychology.

Sometimes I admit it starts out like it...

But it unfolds into...

a kind of puzzle.


I especially liked yesterday's blog, because I had NO idea where it was going.

That is hardly scientific; or New Age.

I set out to write about one thing...

It quickly became something else...

& then it became something else again...

& it folded back over itself.

In a way...

It began as though I were making some kind of blanket statement about mental illness in general...

& it turned out to be an examination of me and MINE.


Sorry...but it's about me.

It's ALWAYS about me.

Who else could I write about with any authority?

I was talking about other people and the way they behave...

but it was me, and my behaviour.


My contradictory behaviour.


It was contradictory as hell.

And I LIKE that...

because IT'S THE TRUTH!

Most humans are CONTRADICTORY AS HELL!

I am one of the worst 'offenders'!!



So what is this stuff I write?

I have said a bunch about what it isn't.


I would like to think it is art...

but that is not for me to say.

Not qualified.


I am ONLY qualified to make this stuff...

whatever it is.

It's all I want to do.

I am DRIVEN to it.


"IMHO" is what it is.

ALL it is.

Nothing more.


Like I said...i'm not a psychiatrist

I don't care for them.

Even if it were actually possible to get in to see one.  


And my authority to speak on mental illness?

I HAVE a mental illness.

I have been told many times by many people.

& these are not psychiatrists...

So it must be true.


I am also of the opinion being a human being is a mental illness.

As I have said before...we are destructive creatures.

Only the mentally ill would allow war to happen,

& radioactivity...

& pollution...etc.


& much of my behaviour is not all that different.


But at least I am telling the truth about myself.

Admitting it.

Which is more than a lot of other people do.

& I am trying.

In fact...that is ALL my work is.


TRYING.


& I'm just fine with that.