"Cant you do anything without posting about it??"

That was someone's post today.


My response??

John Warwick Arden can't we do anything and post about it without you posting about it?


But I didn't leave it there.

Couldn't.

John Warwick Arden my gripes about the post-anythingers? posting what they are EATING...& what they are WATCHING on TV. Who...dah fuck...CARES!!!!!! I care what you are CREATING! MAKING! WHAT YOU ARE BUILDING THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE!! (sheesh. sorry.)

Ironic?

Sure is.


I post anything that occurs to my tiny brain.


But I can never resist a rant.

In the list of people you should avoid...

I would say I am DEFINITELY a bit of a drama queen.


LOVE drama!

Don't ask me why...don't know.

Why do my balls get itchy?

I WASH them, for heaven's sake!

Sometimes even TWICE a month!  Whether they need it or not!


Contradiction.

I love a rant...

& I am often ranting about hating people who rant.


Make no mistake...

If I rant??

It's never about you.

Something you might have said or did may have triggered the rant...


But you are not that powerful.

You are nowhere near as powerful as I am in being able to set myself off.


The fact is- & I have said it to many of those close to me...

I RANT because of some deep underlying dissatisfaction with myself.

That's the bottom line.


My father would kick the shit out of the family because he felt he had failed himself.


It's one of the oldest stories in the book.

I do much the same.

But it is getting better.


To be aware of the problem...to accept and own it...

Is half the battle.


The rant?

The little tantrums??


It's never about you.

It's me.


If I have a rant about people in the way I did above?

You can be pretty sure it is because

I...

am questioning myself.


Do I post too much?

Too frivilously?


DO I HAVE TO POST EVERYTHING?


Obviously- to some extent...

I do.


"I DO."

I am married to the word.

The only one who would have me.


I'm not so great with humans...least of all myself...

But YOU can walk away from me.

I can't.


So I married my mistress...

the word.


& man...I am PASSIONATE ABOUT HER.

Because she helps me cope with the human stew that is me.


Like any good partner...

She took me warts and all.

Just as I am.

In in her kind, gentle, patient way...


She is helping me be a better, more considerate, caring, patient man.


One day...

One post...

One BLOG at a time.


until i get it right.