Troller Ball Part 4

So…am I really Troll?

To quote my dear friend Kat Morgan...

“Troll schmoll. It's a subjective word describing a subjective condition, isn't it?”

Ahh...Kat.

She has a facility for brevity I do not share, but heartily envy.

True. 'tis subjective.

Troll?

The kinder among you have called me a ‘seeker’.

A fine line indeed between Troll and seeker.

So I call myself a “Troller”.

'Troller' is as 'Troller' does…so the best way to comprehend him is to track his wily ways in a conTROLLed environment.

As you know, I stick my nose into “The Boring Group” from time to time.

It is no secret I have a bit of an issue with this Christian fundamentalist crypto-fascist organisation, mainly because of it's hypocrisy.

I hate hypocrisy, above all else.

Hate it out there- hate it in myself.

Which is why I seek it out whenever I am aware of it...

Lest it take hold in myself.

In other words...as long as I am aware of it generally...

I am on guard inside myself.

Might seem like a man who cannot fuck targeting sex outright...

If so...tough tit.

Some of you people- my loyal FB friends- are also ex members (I have never known a stayer in the group for reasons I will go into shortly), & have been kind enough to remember me.

Two even remember me being ignominious deleted from the muster of this elite collective my last tryst- before being thrown out themselves.

Both thoroughly decent people, might I also say. Proud to have them as friends.

So why do I go back there, every few months? If I know I’m going to be thrown out?

Is it not in direct contravention of Woody Allen quoting Groucho Marx quoting Freud when he says 'I would hate to belong to any club that would have me as a member' by so voraciously SEEKING OUT the membership of a club that WILL NOT?

Possibly.

Or maybe I simply need to know why.

Was I not BORING enough?

The Boring Group; to date, 200 members.

It claims to be an Open Group only for boring people, with boring things to talk about, and comment on other peoples boring coments, about being boring. the following rules must be followed; no capitol letters, no exclemation marks, no exciting words. this is not a group for happy people.

A group so boring, it has no patience even for basic rules of spelling or grammar.

I felt I ought to be a shoe in here.

I felt, being such a frightful bore, a not-so-closeted narcissit, an egomaniac of awe inspiring proportion, and a self indulgent ham wannabe...

I fit the bill beautifully.

And was ejected for my attempts at Boring-ness.

Why?

Was I TOO Boring?

Is this not a GOOD thing, in a Boring Group?

Was I not Boring enough?

Would there not be room to move to greater heights of tedium?

Is aspiration, motivation toward moving up the ladder to the top shelf of Boredom in itself too close to excitement? 

But then...is ambition itself not the height of Boring?

What was I ejected for?

And why was I given no reason?

Ignominiously dumped...with no warning, nor explanation.

How Boring it that?

Why am I removed…when all I am doing is going back time and again, to better refine my facility for being Boring.

Is my obsession not boring?

& even more importantly...why does it matter so much?

Why do I grind this axe with such determination?

Why, then, oh why??

I have some thoughts on this, which has in helped me keep the dreaded Troll of Hypocrisy at bay...

TBC