Unfaithfully Yours...

Infidelity is a complicated affair.

I have an urge to deal with one aspect of it.

So... here we go.

A few guidelines first. In talking about infidelity here...let us first leave aside for the moment man's biological imperative to fornicate. This is a given; we all have urges, but in a desire to evolve to a higher degree of consciousness/enlightenment...in our desire to transcend and evolve...we need to set aside our basic primal biological urges. Or at least try to.

These bonds that keep us chained slavishly to our desires, whims and impulses.

This is not an evangelistic indictment of our base sexual urges. I like to fuck- as much as anyone.

But hundreds of years of spiritual inquiry and endeavour tell us that if not 'celibacy'...then a degree of 'fidelity'...is a necessary requirement in the search for enlightenment.

In simple terms...a fuck cooze is unlikely to see God.

Again, this is not a moral judement; a proclivity for applied sexual activity is so all emcompassing... there is simply not much room for thinking about anything else.

It is all consuming.

Sexual addiction will keep a soul too BUSY to see the divine.

So...ideally...the seeker should be in a faithful, committed relationship with a soul mate.

A TRUE SOUL MATE.

What is a soul mate?

I can tell you about my grandparents.

They loved one another TOTALLY.

They fled Germany during wartime...and settled in Australia with nothing.

But love.

And love was enough.

They built something together...a home...a family... & they cherished one another.

Enjoyed the fruits of their hard labour together. (had 8 kids, i think!) & lived in comparative peace, love and harmony. Hurting nothing, and nobody. Only loving.

When grandmother died...grandfather lost his will to live.

He missed her so much- he tried to keep going...but something was lost when she left.

He did not make it more than a few months before he died of a broken heart.

That is what I understand to be 'soul mate'.

& it has always been my guide in looking for one.

I never found mine. (not everyone does) in this lifetime. Too selfish...too sad, too unhappy, too confused... Whatever; but  I have looked for her a lifetime. No such luck.

So...what does all this have to do with infidelity?

Infidelity could well be simple selfishness. Perhaps we are all selfish; I'm inclined to think we are. Infidelity is a selfish act. Some are pig ignorant brutes who just like being cunts.

Some among the unfaithful...have not found their SOUL MATE.

And the frustration this arouses...also arouses other emotions. Such as infidelity.

Unable to come to terms with the fact that we have chosen badly...

Chosen beneath ourselves...spiritually speaking...

Having not found our true life partner...

Infidelity is a kind of 'continuation of the search'.

A selfish continuation, admittedly...but a continuation nonetheless.

We are, after all, flawed human beings. And we do stupid things when we panic. When we look at our relationship and realise... this is not it...

We often run. to the arms of another.

Back to the treadmill.

If you ARE with your Soul Mate... Then infidelity is unforgiveable.

A sin...if you will.

For when you find your soul mate...you are connected for eternity.

A soul mate would never be unfaithful...that is what it means.

Total and utter faithful devotion for eternity.

That is why it is such a lucky thing to find them...& so RARE.

Most people settle for someone they 'quite like', which is UNACCEPTABLE to those who seek a higher state of being. Enlightenment.

And it is why they are unfaithful.

If you find your destined one...you stop looking. You no longer need to look elsewhere.

A soul mate would NEVER be unfaithful. It would make them sick to even think of another. The act of lovemaking is not a 'sport' where i come from; it is a SACRED thing.

Like a sacrament.

I never married. Yes...in relationships I was unfaithful, and I hurt people. This was wrong.

I also hurt myself- selling myself short; settling, rather than continuing the search for my soul partner. But I can see clearly now... & I will keep looking for her.

I will know her when I see her.

In the meantime...

I am happy, healthy and completely content.

I have almost total enlightenment. love, patience, forgiveness.

I live peacefully in nature, live creatively, writing and film making...

Every so often, I travel overseas to work on a film, or a writing project.

I meditate a great deal... enjoy the arts, science, history... read a lot... I'm a great cook!!

And live... in peace. I feel like I have made it.

Happiness.

& they say this is a good place to meet your soul mate.

A place of peace, where you need nothing from the other to 'heal' you.

Make you 'better'...

But can give, openly, rather than take.

Two enlightened souls... together forever in total peace and love... could happen!

Never settle for anything, less than TOTAL fulfilment.

Nothing else compares...

Being unfaithful to others...settling for less that what your soul needs...

Is being unfaithful to the most important person of all...

YOURSELF.

The Perils & Pitfalls of Being Yourself...

'Be yourself...after all, who else can you be?', they claim with a casual, almost cavalier presumption.

As if the notion of self realisation is a fait accompli.

Rubbish.

I can be anything but myself with astonishing alacrity.

Never underestimate the pain and suffering that come from trying to be who you really are, in the face of enormous adversity; from other people, as well as from yourself.

Such underestimation has killed many along the way.

So don't sell short the perils and pitfalls of 'being you'. It's a tough road- & knowing this can be of great comfort in the long run.

And this is, after all, about the 'long run'.

The Long Run of the soul.

Open Up Your Heart.

Open Up Your Heart to People.

Yes, most of them will turn tail & flee like you opened up your fly, but do it anyway. Because this is not about them.

It's about you.

Open Up Your Heart.

No sleazy agenda; no expectations, no conditions.

Just because it is the right thing to do.

A good thing to do.

That's all.

"THE SECRET."

OK.

There is no secret to life.

Life simply is...& you live it. Or you don't.

The REAL mystery is death.

What happenes after death?

OK. Here goes.

DEATH IS JUST A BIG SLEEP.

And in a universe we are understanding to be one of INFINITE POSSIBILITY...

Whatever reality you want again- whether it is this one you are living (BOONG!! PASS!!) or a variation on a theme- or a number of themes...

A completely new life or set of lives...

OR even SOMEONE ELSE'S life...

Whatever the hell reality you want for yourself of all the possible choices from the menu of an inexhaustible smorgasord ...

It simply HAS TO COME UP.

HAS TO!!! No matter WHAT it is!

However often you want it!!

No matter HOW MANY times you play it out!

Law of averages!

Of all the limitness, unnumerable possibilities...

Whatever you want HAS TO roll up AGAIN!

Who gives a rat's arse HOW LONG it takes if you're Ni-Ni'S??

So relax, and stop worrying about death.

Because there is NOTHING to worry about.

Hope this clears things up for you.

Three Steps To Heaven.

STEP ONE: Relinquish the ego.

STEP TWO: Live in peace.

STEP THREE: Go back and do 'Step One' properly.

Time.

I think one of the only problems I ever had on the Internet was handling my attractions to these wonderful new 'cyber people'.

I used to form what I called 'Cyber Crushes'.

(I put it down to the abused child- starved a lifetime for love. But that's another story.)

Suffice it to say- to that child- this medium was a Godsend.

But every upside has it's downside.

I have learned through painful experience that when we are attracted to people here- we are often attracted to what we THINK they are- rather than what they actually ARE.

(pretty much the same as in the real world.)

It takes a LONG time to get to know who someone really is.

Indeed...do we ever truly know anyone? No matter how much time we spend with them??

I have met a number of my FB friends in my travels, here & overseas.

And those who disappointed me the MOST, were those who were not what I expected; who I thought they were.

Were not who I had built up in my mind.

My most satisfying connections have been with those people I had NO expectations of. The people I allowed to show me who they really were...

Rather than what I thought they were.

Contrary to popular belief, most people ARE who they appear to be- AS LONG AS you do not expect too much from them.

They will usually show you who they are. As much as you need to know.

But it takes time.

You just need to give people time.

These things take TIME...

Surrender.

I never realised before how many people fear death.

I knew I feared it; but I thought I was the only one.

Other people seemed so blase about it. They would say things like 'you don't want to fear death'. 'Nothing you can do about it anyway'!

But for some reason, I did.

Same as I feared flying. I think they are related.

It's not the 'thing', so much as the lack of control over the thing.

The hardest thing for a human being to learn to do is to surrender. To give in to that which is beyond our control.

To let go.

When we can learn to do that...we can say goodbye to fear.

And when we say goodbye to fear...

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.