Safe.

Another thing I realised...I just feel safer with women. 

I guess that's why I have so many female friends. 

I remember when I was a little boy, I was on a trip somewhere; Mum and Dad were in the front of the car (Dad driving- he always drove) and I was sitting with my Auntie Lorraine in the back. 

I was feeling sleepy, so she let me lay my head down on her ample breast, & I slept soundly and peacefully.  Like a baby. 

I was not so sure about my Dad- I don't remember EVER feeling safe with him- but I DID feel safe with my Aunty Lorraine.  

On some level deep inside me, I'm a little bit wary of men.  In my twenties and thirties, I can remember starting fights with them in pubs.  I guess this was partly to do with my conditioning (Dad spent endless hours teaching me how to hit other men, saying it was 'the only language they understood'), but I wonder if, on some level, I was not somehow getting them before they 'got' me.    

Like the way I was conditioned to treat women; 'dump them before they dump you'.

I know not all men are like my father- not all men are savage, boorish brutes (just like not all women are angels!), but I simply feel safer with women. 

I noticed they don't start as many major wars as men do; that says something. 

Today, I give thanks for gentle feminine energy.   

Thank you for making me feel safe to be me...& to treat EVERYBODY with love.

Heart.