Cheer & Loving in Wisconsin...

 

 

I always thought "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" was such a clever title. 

Now I don't fear or loathe anyone...it seems a bit passé. 

Maybe this is a good thing. 

Perhaps I am one writer now less likely to blow my brains out in desperation. 

If I live that long...


RIP HST.

Internettle...

I say pretty much anything and everything here in my blog.

My life is an open book.

That the point of doing this blog in the first place.

To be as open, candid, & honest as I possibly can be.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

I have seen the worst the world has to offer, & I accepted the consequences a long time ago.

I would gladly do time for what I write here.

I have seen the inside of a prison cell.

I would also die for it- & I have almost died a few times, so i know what that means.

I realised some time ago, that in the interests of my health and well being, I HAD to learn to be more open and honest...or die a slow death.

In other words, it's my soul imperative.

I am happy to live...or die...by and alongside everything I write here, and will gladly have any portion taken at random to be posted as my epitaph.

For it was true at that time.

Hence...it is ALL truth.

I never write ANYTHING that I do not want anyone to hear.

So apart from my bank details...I am not a privacy junkie.


However...I will say this.

Sometimes...I have a feeling some people (especially women) say TOO MUCH.

This might sound sexist...but on the internet?

There is MORE for a woman to be fearful/cautious of than a man.

I'm not saying there are no female nutters...of course there are.

BUT...this world wide web is crawling with predators.

& information is power.


I'm not exactly The King of Integrity.

Or I wasn't.

But I'm learning; & the internet has given me a forum in which to do that.

I'm not saying it's the SAFEST forum...

But I have found it to be hugely beneficial for me personally, professionally, emotionally and spiritually.

But like anything, there are pitfalls.

Unscrupulous people.


I advise caution.

The internet is like a box of chocolates.


You never know what you're gonna' get...    

The Saline Solution...

Most of our best lessons come from the kitchen.

Just like when you have added too much salt to something...once an act of infidelity enters in...

you can never get rid of that salty after taste.

Try as you might...there is nothing you can do to fully get rid of it.

All you can do is either throw the spoiled food out...

or learn to love the taste of salt.

It's a question of your own peculiar palate...

& your tolerance for certain flavours.

Everybody Wants You When You're Bi...

We are ALL bi-polar. 

Those who imagine they are not have the mental issue. 

We as a species are doing AWFUL things to ourselves...each other- indeed to the very planet- that over time will HAVE to put a terrible zap on our brains

(or if you lean toward the spiritual...our souls.)

Recognise...& do your best. 

We are all humans, for chrissakes; doing the very best we can with this weird dealy we call LIFE.

When we put so much pressure on ourselves to be better- to do better- & when we accept the often unreasonable and unwarranted pressure OTHERS put upon us...

It can really fuck us up. 


Inevitably...we will end up taking it out on others.

Being waaaay too hard on them.

The main thing is to not be too hard on OURSELVES.

For then...

 

we are SUNK.

Memes to be screamed at. (or Screaming Memes...)

This is written in sweet new age cursive lettering, against a pretty aqua background...seems harmless enough at first glance.

But on closer inspection it screams EGO.

Does it not sound a little like it is suggesting we surround ourselves with ADORING FANS????


Let's do a little re-write.


"Surround yourself with giving, loving, kind and generous people...people who make you want to be a better, more loving, generous, kind & giving person.

& don't stop until something stops you."


That...I can live with.

The Last Post...

As another evening draws to a close, I should make particular mention of some people who said some very nice things about me today.

Insults- for whatever reason, burn me badly, & I seem to carry them around with me forever.

Compliments are too easily discarded because I'm not entirely sure I feel worthy of them.

However- if I am to learn to take compliments- I should at least acknowledge them.

So...thank you.  You know who you are.


Tonight, I am also thinking about the veterans.

I don't care whether your war was legal or not.  I have a soft spot for veterans.

Whether you see them as heroes or government pawns is neither here nor there.  The bottom line is, many of these soldiers were young men who really believed they were doing the right thing.

You know my views on war- of course it's an absurdity.

But I 'aint the one to judge.

I was a naive young man who joined the police force thinking it had something to do with justice.

More fool me.

Although the military and the constabulary cannot be compared- the choice to serve is much the same.

So, in my empathy...I feel a sense of obligation.


Next week...I will be helping out at the homeless veterans shelter.

To me...the words 'homeless' and 'veteran' do not belong in the same sentence.

I want to lend a hand- partly because I think it is the right thing to do- & partly because I want to listen.

Hear these men's stories.  Shut my yap for five minutes...Listen...& understand.

Show some compassion, & try to make a difference, instead of spouting dogma about how rotten war is, or the government is.

Humans are a war-like species.

I'm not going to solve that tonight, or even over the weekend.

Neither are you.

We might NEVER see an end to war.  Oblivion might find us first.

But in the meantime- while we wait for the big one- helping a few vets clear out their living space seems a damned sight better than bitching.

At least...until I can come up with a better idea.


To the veterans...

I know many of you feel betrayed; but I can't help but think...

We failed you, to a greater degree than you failed us.

Many of you truly did your best, to do what you thought was right.

What you were told was right.

My beef is not with you.


In any case...

Thank you for your service.


JWA

Potty Mouth...

Please forgive me if I have already covered this...but it's a topic worth revisiting & might be worth touching upon for the benefit of my new friends. 

I have something to say about my propensity for drawing attention to my bathroom parts- even though I am approaching 50. 

It happens from time to time; I seem to be drawn to discuss my privates. 

I can't seem to help myself. 

In this regard...I seem to slide into this (bad?) habit and revert to childhood. 

It's almost as if I haven't been properly toilet trained. 

I have been thinking about this for the last hour or so now...a part of me is bothered by it. 

But a part of me knows...it is something almost uncontrollable.

It seems to be my truth...& I will never shy away from my truth, because herein are often contained certain fundamental clues as to my persona, from which I can learn about myself. 

I think it's an interesting topic. 

At times...I find men's/my love for speaking about our/my Johnson quite tiresome and boorish. 

I'm a reasonably intelligent, spiritually attuned fellow; but I doubt I will ever be considered for PM or the Nobel Peace Prize, given my priors for talking freely and openly about my doodle.

I find something strangely...cathartic about raising the subject in a frivolous way occasionally. 

I assumed it had something to do with my sexual abuse as a child- but it might not have.

Maybe ALL men do it. 

Maybe most women do it. 

I have a feeling...my making light of these topics may have saved my life.  (given me a way to process my sexual molestation at a young age without going totally batty.) 

Many people in my position have killed themselves WAY before this. 

It is best left to the judgement of others whether this is a good thing or not.  I have certainly come to see any life as precious, so hence, see it as a positive. 

So...if this is how I process that early abuse...then more power to me, I guess.

But I can understand how some people might find it immature, and offensive.

I think as adults in a perpetual state of arrested development...we do what we can to survive... 

& rely on the kindness and patience of our friends. 

So thank you.