Love in a Shitstorm from Hell...

I am thinking of a friend of the family at the moment.

She is struggling with her husband.

After a lifetime of physical illness...his mental health has finally taken a turn for the worse. 

Apparently the guy is unbearable to live with.  Making unreasonable demands, losing his temper and even WORSE...playing the emotional blackmail card, to add to the carnival of misery.

She is a brave soul, standing by him as his mind deteriorates.

I guess this is the true definition of LOVE.

I have no idea about love; I imagine it to be hearts and flowies and walks in the park.

'The heart will live on', and all that.

Bullshit.

In truth...it's about loving everything.

All of it.

Even the shitty mouth, shitty attitude, shitty underpants & shitty existence.

Deferring ones own life to be with an animal.  A beast.

Resisting the urge to do a runner from abject misery.

Sacrificing the hope of an easy life because of something you once saw in that person...

Something deep inside...

Long gone.

Just a memory.

I have no idea about love.

So many of us don't.   

In truth...it's about the good times and the bad.

In SICKNESS and in health. 

If you can't do this...

If you can't be with yr man when he loses his tumour ridden balls, or worse still...his mind...

If you can't stick with your woman when they remove her cancer-ridden breasts, or her uterus...

If you can't hang in there EVEN in a shitstorm from hell...

Don't even bother. 

Because it AINT LOVE AT ALL.  

 


 

Thank You...

Yesterday I was feeling really shitty.

Seasonal adjustment disorder or a hormonal coup d'etat...who knows.

But you guys made me feel so much better, & today i'm back on track.

If you ever make the mistake of forgetting how much you mean to me...don't worry; I'll remind you at regular intervals.  

Thank you, my dear friends.

JWA

Unfaithfully Yours...

Infidelity is a complicated affair.

I have an urge to deal with one aspect of it.

So... here we go.

A few guidelines first. In talking about infidelity here...let us first leave aside for the moment man's biological imperative to fornicate. This is a given; we all have urges, but in a desire to evolve to a higher degree of consciousness/enlightenment...in our desire to transcend and evolve...we need to set aside our basic primal biological urges. Or at least try to.

These bonds that keep us chained slavishly to our desires, whims and impulses.

This is not an evangelistic indictment of our base sexual urges. I like to fuck- as much as anyone.

But hundreds of years of spiritual inquiry and endeavour tell us that if not 'celibacy'...then a degree of 'fidelity'...is a necessary requirement in the search for enlightenment.

In simple terms...a fuck cooze is unlikely to see God.

Again, this is not a moral judement; a proclivity for applied sexual activity is so all emcompassing... there is simply not much room for thinking about anything else.

It is all consuming.

Sexual addiction will keep a soul too BUSY to see the divine.

So...ideally...the seeker should be in a faithful, committed relationship with a soul mate.

A TRUE SOUL MATE.

What is a soul mate?

I can tell you about my grandparents.

They loved one another TOTALLY.

They fled Germany during wartime...and settled in Australia with nothing.

But love.

And love was enough.

They built something together...a home...a family... & they cherished one another.

Enjoyed the fruits of their hard labour together. (had 8 kids, i think!) & lived in comparative peace, love and harmony. Hurting nothing, and nobody. Only loving.

When grandmother died...grandfather lost his will to live.

He missed her so much- he tried to keep going...but something was lost when she left.

He did not make it more than a few months before he died of a broken heart.

That is what I understand to be 'soul mate'.

& it has always been my guide in looking for one.

I never found mine. (not everyone does) in this lifetime. Too selfish...too sad, too unhappy, too confused... Whatever; but  I have looked for her a lifetime. No such luck.

So...what does all this have to do with infidelity?

Infidelity could well be simple selfishness. Perhaps we are all selfish; I'm inclined to think we are. Infidelity is a selfish act. Some are pig ignorant brutes who just like being cunts.

Some among the unfaithful...have not found their SOUL MATE.

And the frustration this arouses...also arouses other emotions. Such as infidelity.

Unable to come to terms with the fact that we have chosen badly...

Chosen beneath ourselves...spiritually speaking...

Having not found our true life partner...

Infidelity is a kind of 'continuation of the search'.

A selfish continuation, admittedly...but a continuation nonetheless.

We are, after all, flawed human beings. And we do stupid things when we panic. When we look at our relationship and realise... this is not it...

We often run. to the arms of another.

Back to the treadmill.

If you ARE with your Soul Mate... Then infidelity is unforgiveable.

A sin...if you will.

For when you find your soul mate...you are connected for eternity.

A soul mate would never be unfaithful...that is what it means.

Total and utter faithful devotion for eternity.

That is why it is such a lucky thing to find them...& so RARE.

Most people settle for someone they 'quite like', which is UNACCEPTABLE to those who seek a higher state of being. Enlightenment.

And it is why they are unfaithful.

If you find your destined one...you stop looking. You no longer need to look elsewhere.

A soul mate would NEVER be unfaithful. It would make them sick to even think of another. The act of lovemaking is not a 'sport' where i come from; it is a SACRED thing.

Like a sacrament.

I never married. Yes...in relationships I was unfaithful, and I hurt people. This was wrong.

I also hurt myself- selling myself short; settling, rather than continuing the search for my soul partner. But I can see clearly now... & I will keep looking for her.

I will know her when I see her.

In the meantime...

I am happy, healthy and completely content.

I have almost total enlightenment. love, patience, forgiveness.

I live peacefully in nature, live creatively, writing and film making...

Every so often, I travel overseas to work on a film, or a writing project.

I meditate a great deal... enjoy the arts, science, history... read a lot... I'm a great cook!!

And live... in peace. I feel like I have made it.

Happiness.

& they say this is a good place to meet your soul mate.

A place of peace, where you need nothing from the other to 'heal' you.

Make you 'better'...

But can give, openly, rather than take.

Two enlightened souls... together forever in total peace and love... could happen!

Never settle for anything, less than TOTAL fulfilment.

Nothing else compares...

Being unfaithful to others...settling for less that what your soul needs...

Is being unfaithful to the most important person of all...

YOURSELF.

The Perils & Pitfalls of Being Yourself...

'Be yourself...after all, who else can you be?', they claim with a casual, almost cavalier presumption.

As if the notion of self realisation is a fait accompli.

Rubbish.

I can be anything but myself with astonishing alacrity.

Never underestimate the pain and suffering that come from trying to be who you really are, in the face of enormous adversity; from other people, as well as from yourself.

Such underestimation has killed many along the way.

So don't sell short the perils and pitfalls of 'being you'. It's a tough road- & knowing this can be of great comfort in the long run.

And this is, after all, about the 'long run'.

The Long Run of the soul.

Open Up Your Heart.

Open Up Your Heart to People.

Yes, most of them will turn tail & flee like you opened up your fly, but do it anyway. Because this is not about them.

It's about you.

Open Up Your Heart.

No sleazy agenda; no expectations, no conditions.

Just because it is the right thing to do.

A good thing to do.

That's all.

"THE SECRET."

OK.

There is no secret to life.

Life simply is...& you live it. Or you don't.

The REAL mystery is death.

What happenes after death?

OK. Here goes.

DEATH IS JUST A BIG SLEEP.

And in a universe we are understanding to be one of INFINITE POSSIBILITY...

Whatever reality you want again- whether it is this one you are living (BOONG!! PASS!!) or a variation on a theme- or a number of themes...

A completely new life or set of lives...

OR even SOMEONE ELSE'S life...

Whatever the hell reality you want for yourself of all the possible choices from the menu of an inexhaustible smorgasord ...

It simply HAS TO COME UP.

HAS TO!!! No matter WHAT it is!

However often you want it!!

No matter HOW MANY times you play it out!

Law of averages!

Of all the limitness, unnumerable possibilities...

Whatever you want HAS TO roll up AGAIN!

Who gives a rat's arse HOW LONG it takes if you're Ni-Ni'S??

So relax, and stop worrying about death.

Because there is NOTHING to worry about.

Hope this clears things up for you.

Three Steps To Heaven.

STEP ONE: Relinquish the ego.

STEP TWO: Live in peace.

STEP THREE: Go back and do 'Step One' properly.