Thank you...AGAIN!!!

Thank you for taking an interest, my friends. 

Thank you for reading my work, and being so supportive of me during what is, actually, a kind of selfish process. 

I know it is a selfish process. 

I have enough empathy to KNOW this is the case.

I know I haven't had a lot of time for you- you know who you are. 

I am thinking of you. 

& it does not escape me, the way you have been checking on me, week after week. 

You give, unselfishly; I find it breathtaking- I guess because I am unaccustomed to it.

ACTUALLY- this is old language.

I am NOT unaccustomed to it- that would be negating your continued presence. 

Perhaps I am growing accustomed. 

Learning to trust when people are kind to me.   

I am also learning to detach myself from people who are not.

What they have to say about me has NO validity.

Any more than what my father said did.

I am NOT unworthy.

I know I am a much better person than I was,

and am improving a little each & every day.

I guess the evidence of that is the fact that I can now see I am getting better at pushing away the animosity,

and embracing the kindness; 

instead of the other way around. 

I intend for this new pattern of behaviour to continue.

No longer will I allow myself to be mired in negativity.

No longer will I allow vicious untrustworthy people into my life.

I will be the change I want to see.

& the book I am finishing will help. 

Myself and maybe even others like me.


& I MEAN to finish this book...

even if it kills me.

& in so doing, put the past to rest forever. 

I might take a little time to retreat & put this thing to bed once and for all, but I won't be far away. 

I also have that health issue I mentioned which must be looked at. 

You'll be in my thoughts. 

I had two fortunes in the cookies at my favourite restaurant the other night; 'your good luck is in effect as of now',

and 'what you have been planning will succeed'. 

You know me...I am just dumb enough, childish enough, hopeful enough to believe these silly little pieces of paper. 

This final battle could well be the breakthrough I have been waiting for.  Could happen! 

In the meantime, I wish you bon chance, and once again...offer my humble THANKS for your love, and your forbearance. 

When one is in this space- on the edge of a major breakthrough, one feels both excitement and trepidation. 

You are never quite sure if you are going to skyrocket to the stars, or die horribly. 

I hope it is the former-

so I can thank you one by one, and we can all celebrate. 

Celebrate...the blessing that is our common, shared humanity. 

Peace.