I should point out...

I still get angry. 

Over rubbish. 

Someone cut in front of me in the line the other day in the supermarket.

I considered ranting and raving about it.  But I bit my tongue, and went for a walk. 

I was wandering around the shop for about five minutes...letting it cool down...

asking, 'what is this'? 

'Does this matter?' 

'Really??'

'Is this REALLY the kind of thing you want to get bent out of shape over??'

'You REALLY want to send your battleships to war over THIS???"

I keept working it over in my mind.

'Will the anger make me feel better?' 

'Will it not do more harm than good?'

'Is it who I want to be?' 

'Who the Hell said I am more important than the other person?' 

'I let people go in front of me in traffic...how is this different?' 

'Besides...this was a lady. 

Even though I have the next ticket...

do I not generally offer the lady first go??'  

'Where does this come from?' 

'Can I make a different choice?' 

Can I live differently??

Gradually...the storm subsided. 

It's cool; it's all about nature. 

If the weather is allowed to get angry...I guess so are we.

BUT...why deliberately hurt people with that anger?

That's what makes being human such a great gift.

That we can see a chance to hurt others...

& do differently.

We can also do good.

& it is good to knock that anger shit off.


And I was right. 

a few days later...

it is almost forgotten.

It didn't matter.

What mattered...was making another choice.

choosing another adventure.
 
That's the real juice.

It's amazing how deeply woven into my being Dad's anger is. 

He's dead now. 

I don't have to keep it.


I never did...