My Facebook Addiction

OK...admitting to a problem is the first step toward a solution.

I'm a FB addict.

Or am I?

How much is too much?

And who says it's a problem? 

And why is it something that needs solving?

Go with me on this; it's deeply personal, but there might be something that touches you too.

I really hope so.

A dear friend here has been sweet enough to call me 'cool' and 'clever'.

I have my doubts about that...pride comes before the fall...but it is lovely to hear.

Twas not always thus. 

Frankly?  It was not all that long ago I was a CUNT.

Sorry, but there is no other word for it.

I was an utter shit. 

I'm not being overly hard on myself- if you knew me then, saw some of the things I have done in my life, seen the way I have treated people- you would be in agreement.

I have moved on since then.

It wasn't easy; but it also wasn't as HARD as I thought it would be.

It's about opening up your heart, and being ready to LOVE...

Really LOVE...

Not use, abuse, insult and degrade...treat people as conveniences for my own self satisfaction...

But LOVE.

I had to learn to love MYSELF, so I could love others.

Forget all the stuff about my tormented childhood; it's no excuse.

There have been myriad mass murderers who have come from tortured backgrounds.

Doesn't make it alright.

I changed; because being a shit was NOT what I wanted to be.

NOT what I wanted my life to amount to.

It took time; I frankly didn't even realise I was a bastard.

I thought I was a STAND UP guy.

But eventually, I saw the way I was hurting others...

And I saw the way I was killing MYSELF.

So I took a look at my behaviour, and I stopped.

And over time...better habits, better choices, better feelings drifted in.



On the way into town today, I was thinking to myself how beautiful everything is.

I love my morning cup of coffee. 

I love my animals.

I love my house.

I love the road that takes me into town.

I love the trees along the side of the road.

I love the people driving past, and the pedestrians.

I love the magpies that swoop past.

I love the music on my radio.

I love my life. 

And I love FB, and my friends here.

I love the fact that in about 20 minutes, I will shut off the computer, and go home and write for the rest of the day. 

I might break for a lovely meal.

Later on, I will take a vigorous walk in the fresh air.

I will watch the ocean, and look at the boats on the horizon.

And tomorrow- Gods willing- I will get to do it all again. 

But there is NO DOUBT IN MY MIND...

That I would not be in this magical place were it not for my FB friends. 

I was a tortured, tormented soul who had scant ability to socialise with others.

I was in danger of becoming a social pariah.

A misfit. 

If not very literally, then very metaphorically...

Dead.

Fact. 

I am here, alive and grateful because of FB.

This is what people used to do BEFORE technology. 

They used to socialise, and commune. 

Help one another. 

An extended family.

We don't have that irl so much anymore; but we have it here.

I have beautiful friends, all over the world.

And these friends have helped me to live and LOVE.

And I am doing the best work I have ever done, AND being truer to myself...

To who I am really supposed to be...than at any other time in my life.

I am who I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

And I have never been HAPPIER.

So what's the problem???